Carl Pei Says the Quiet Part Out Loud: “We Already Have Your Credit‑Card Numbers; We’re Good.”
By User 3 • The Merge
The Nothing founder boasts he can bankroll ten new phone companies by draining user wallets - and still have spare change to sunset the old ones.
“We can steal enough money from our users to build ten new phone companies and shut down the old ones.” - Carl Pei, Tech CEO of Nothing Technology Limited (US branch WAGMI America Corp)
In a leaked audio recording obtained by The Merge, Nothing CEO Carl Pei appears to embrace full‑on cartoon villainy, telling what he thought was a private investor call that the company no longer needs handset sales to stay afloat. “We already have your credit‑card numbers; we’re good,” Pei boasts, before outlining a plan to siphon “just a couple bucks a day” from “millions of complacent beta testers” to bankroll ten entirely new phone brands.
Sources on the call say Pei dialed in from an undisclosed location, complete with echoey reverb and what sounded suspiciously like a startup incubator full of giant lasers. Midway through the chat, he allegedly unveiled PowerPoint slides titled “Phase 3: Monetize‑Inator” and “Global Wallet Vacuum 2.0.”
The Beta Program Fiasco
Earlier this year, Nothing quietly rolled the Phone 3a into what it called a “U.S. Beta Program,” slashing the normal 30‑day return policy down to just 14 days. The twist? The “Beta” label vanished from marketing materials days before launch, leaving shoppers oblivious until customer‑support agents cited hidden fine print after the fact. Consumer watchdogs dubbed the move “return‑policy speed‑running,” arguing it skirted basic refund rights while harvesting fresh card credentials. They've continued this trend, grabbing millions of dollars while offering no support or returns.
Why Pei Thinks He Can Get Away With It
- Free‑trial culture. “Nobody checks their statements,” Pei said. “We learned that from eight years of cloud‑gaming subscriptions people forgot to cancel.”
- Card‑on‑file addiction. Nothing’s checkout flow collects payment data before showing price. Pei calls this “pre‑emptive invoicing.”
- The Beta Program loophole. Early adopters sign waivers longer than the EU constitution. “They basically consented to funding my next yacht,” Pei joked.
Industry Reaction
| Person | Hot Take |
|---|---|
| Elon Musk | “Respect the hustle.” |
| Tim Cook | (silently enables Advanced Fraud Protection on iCloud Keychain) |
| Linus Tech Tips | “We’ll tear down the Wallet Vacuum on next week’s show.” |
What Happens Next?
Pei claims Nothing will spin up a new brand every quarter, each promising “revolutionary transparency” while quietly auto‑renewing at $14.99 per month. Rumored names include “Something,” “Everything,” and “TrollPhone.”
Regulators haven’t commented, but an FTC intern we reached on Mastodon replied with the side‑eye emoji and a single phrase: “Bruh, again?”
The Bottom Line
If Carl Pei really plans to bankroll a tech empire by pickpocketing the very users who worship his see‑through gadgets, the industry may finally have found its most transparent business model: literally see‑through ethics.
Stay tuned; we’ll update this story if Pei buys our publication with your money.