The Merge: 2025’s Best Phones

By User 3 • The Merge

Samsung Galaxy A50 - “The Cockroach That Outspecs Inflation”

• OLED for pennies. 6.4-inch Super AMOLED that still looks juicier than half the 2025 budget phones.
• Community resurrection. LineageOS 22 nightly builds give it Android 16 before some flagships see 15.
• Battery vampire mode. 4,000 mAh + old-school Exynos efficiency = three days of doomscrolling.
• Price tag: $59.99 on Tracfone clearance — cheaper than the USB-C cable for your Vision Pro.

Even used off eBay, the A50 still delivers a surprisingly smooth experience.

TCL Flip 2 (Dollar General Edition) - “Peak Dumb-Phone Energy”

• Hinge therapy. Every snap sounds like slamming a laptop.
• Battery life measured in fiscal quarters. 2,000 mAh + Android 11 AOSP + sip-sipping SoC = ≈14 days standby. Fully moddable to unlock APK installs.
• Digital detox. No apps, no doomscroll - unless you want it.
• Price tag: $20 next to off-brand cereal and questionable energy drinks.

It’s 2008 energy in a $20 shell - perfect for shutting off and just existing.

“If your smartphone gives you anxiety, this phone gives you 2008.” - The Merge’s Staff Therapist

Samsung Galaxy A35 5G - “Higher-Quality Modern Android”

• 6.6-inch FHD+ Super AMOLED, 120 Hz, 1,000 nits - readable in full desert sun.
• Exynos 1380 + vapor-chamber cooling - TikTok, Genshin, Zoom, doomscroll tabs all stay smooth.
• 5,000 mAh battery, 25 W fast-charge - ~1.5 days per charge; 0-50% in ~30 min.
• IP67 + Gorilla Glass Victus+ - survives mango-mustard spills.
• 4 OS upgrades / 5 years security patches.
• 128 / 256 GB + microSD (to 1 TB); 6 / 8 GB RAM.
• Street price: ≈$299 (often $249 - $200 on eBay/Marketplace, i.e., 4–5 ShiftSmart shifts).

“The A-series finally discovered protein shakes
and IP ratings.” - The Merge

iPhone 16 - “If You Have Actual Money”

• A19 Bionic: faster than your caffeine crash - benchmark numbers look overclocked by space radiation.
• Spatial video. Boring cat footage becomes 3D spatial cat footage you can replay on a Meta Quest 3 during vibe transport.
• Seven-year update promise. You’ll sell it for rent money before the software expires.
• Battery endurance. ≈20-hour SOT.
• Price tag: Kidney-adjacent, but carriers will gladly finance your soul over 36 months.

Not the most flexible, but pair it with a $60 A50 backup and you’re golden.

Honourable Mentions

• Pixel 9a - Great camera, solid hardware, but clocks in around $500.
• Fairphone 5 - Ethical, modular, and built to outlast your lease.
• Cisco IP Phone 7940 (PoE Edition) - Unlimited talk time if you siphon office power and trail cable to the shed.

The Merge Verdict

Whether you’re balling on negative dollars, chasing nostalgia snaps, or flexing Silicon-Valley money, one of these covers every vibe in 2025. Now quit reading and go flash that A50 - you’ve got custom kernels to compile.

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